All my life I have lived in countries where politics plays a major part in how everything works. I have suffered and endured the effects of political decisions. I have never lived in the USA and neither have I been particularly interested in American politics, all I knew was that it was a complicated, a big money driven game and important to the extent that decisions made there would directly affect me living in, as Donald Trump expressed, a “shithole” country!

When Donald was elected, I was astounded that the American people chose a rude, loud, fat, ugly, many times bankrupt narcissistic businessman from a TV reality show! (A program I could not even bring myself to watch) to lead the most powerful influential nation in the world!

During his term, in about 2018, and at my age 62, when I had finally completed the jigsaw puzzle that was my life and learned that I have an abusive malignant narcissist in my life and was uncovering and learning obsessively about the characteristics that defined having a Narcissist Personality Disorder and the effects it had on me, did I start, regularly hearing unbelievable comments by DT. I started seeing all the similarities….I became fascinated with his behaviours and traits, ones that I had experienced all my life and they were now being broadcast globally!!

A total lack of empathy
Cruelty
Deflection
An obsession about hair
Blaming
Arrogance
Contempt
A condescending attitude
Entitlement and superiority
Gaslighting
The inability to apologise
The inability and unwillingness to listen
Consistent lying
Grandiosity
Absolute self-centeredness
Demeaning
Rage with abuse
A conjuror of fear
Using and abusing relationships etc etc

…. every time, he opened his mouth, and exhibited one or more of these characteristics, it triggered me, and I’d react emotionally, in a deep traumatised way, which bought my CPTSD to the fore. His actions and words caused me flashbacks! A person in authority, abusing that privilege – causes trauma. His oath was to preserve and protect the Constitution of the USA and my caretakers should have been to preserve and protect me.
I am limited contact with my narcissist, and I am healing. When I think how what he does and says and how it damages and hurts others, I am enraged and saddened by the deep trauma he causes on one hand, and on the other hand I am astounded by the extreme numbers of enablers he has. This is a toxic and unhealthy state – he can’t win or wrangle a second term…. can he??

It is 6.30pm 7.11.2020 and CNN and other new agencies have just announced Biden the winner of the 2020 Election and Trump voted out. I cried in admiration for the determination of a country to right wrongs, for those people he hurt – I cried for the little girl and my hurt and the fact that I cannot, nor could never vote my narcissist out!